For those experiencing domestic violence, safety is often a constant concern. A safety plan can be a crucial tool in protecting oneself and any children involved, helping victims think ahead and prepare for potentially dangerous situations. This guide will walk you through what a safety plan is, why it’s important, and how to create one.
What is a Safety Plan?
A safety plan is a personalized, practical plan that includes ways to remain safe while in a relationship, planning to leave, or after you leave. It considers your unique circumstances, such as the presence of children, pets, and financial resources. A safety plan helps you anticipate the risks and provides steps to take in various situations—whether during an argument, when planning to leave, or in the event of an emergency.
Why is Safety Planning Important?
Leaving an abusive relationship can be one of the most dangerous times for a victim. The abuser may become more aggressive, making it critical to have a plan in place. A well-thought-out safety plan can help reduce risks, increase confidence, and provide a sense of control in a situation that often feels overwhelming.
Steps to Create a Safety Plan
- Assess Your Situation Start by assessing the current situation. Think about the patterns of abuse and identify the times and situations when you feel most at risk. Are there specific triggers that escalate the violence? Knowing these details can help you plan more effectively.
- Identify Safe Areas Determine safe areas in your home where you can go if an argument begins. Try to avoid spaces without exits, like bathrooms, or places where weapons might be available, like the kitchen. If possible, practice how to get out of these spaces quickly.
- Prepare an Emergency Kit Assemble an emergency kit that you can easily access or grab quickly if you need to leave in a hurry. This kit might include:
- Important documents (e.g., ID, birth certificates, legal papers)
- Keys (house, car, etc.)
- Cash, credit cards, or checks
- Medications and prescriptions
- A change of clothes for you and your children
- Contact information for trusted friends, family, or shelters Consider storing this kit with a trusted friend or relative to ensure it remains safe and accessible.
- Plan an Escape Route Know the quickest way to exit your home safely, whether it’s through doors, windows, or emergency exits. If you have children, teach them how to escape as well, and decide on a safe place to meet once you’re out of the house.
- Establish a Code Word Create a code word or phrase that you can use with your children, friends, or family to signal that you need immediate help. Make sure everyone involved knows what to do when they hear the code word.
- Document the Abuse If it is safe to do so, document any incidents of abuse. This might include taking photos of injuries, keeping a journal of events, or saving threatening messages. This documentation can be crucial if you decide to take legal action.
- Consider Technology Safety Be aware that abusers can use technology to monitor your activities. Take steps to protect your privacy, such as changing passwords regularly, using a safe computer or phone that the abuser cannot access, and turning off location services on your devices. If you believe your devices are being monitored, seek advice on how to safely use technology.
- Involve Your Support System Let trusted friends, family members, or neighbors know about your situation and your safety plan. They can help you by checking in regularly, providing a safe place to stay, or calling for help if necessary. Make sure they know how to respond if you use your code word.
- Have a Plan for Your Children and Pets If you have children, include them in your safety plan. Teach them how to call 911, what to do if an argument starts, and where they should go to stay safe. If you have pets, consider what you will do with them if you need to leave suddenly. Some shelters accommodate pets, or you may be able to arrange for a friend or family member to care for them temporarily.
- Prepare for Legal Steps If you’re considering legal action, such as filing for a restraining order, have a plan for how to proceed safely. This might include finding legal representation, gathering evidence, and knowing where to go for support. Understand the legal protections available to you, such as orders of protection, and have a strategy for enforcing them.
What to Do After Leaving
Even after leaving, it’s important to remain vigilant and have a post-escape safety plan. This might include:
- Changing your locks and securing your home with additional safety measures like alarm systems.
- Informing your workplace, children’s school, and others about your situation so they can help protect you.
- Staying aware of your surroundings and avoiding places where the abuser might look for you.
- Continuing to use technology safely to prevent being tracked.
Where to Get Help
If you’re in immediate danger, call 911 or your local emergency services. For non-emergency help, reach out to local shelters, hotlines, or domestic violence organizations. They can offer assistance with safety planning, provide legal advice, and connect you with resources for housing, counseling, and other support services.
Here are some resources:
Conclusion
Creating a safety plan is an empowering step for those facing domestic violence. It provides a roadmap for how to protect yourself and your loved ones, offering a sense of control in an otherwise chaotic and dangerous situation. Remember, you don’t have to face this alone—there are resources and people ready to help you every step of the way.
Stay safe, and take care.